Irony Deficiency

I meant to post this a couple days ago but I forgot. I was driving around uptown and saw a car with one of those silly "My Other Car Is A Rolls Royce" bumper stickers. OK, fine, ha ha. But a word of advice to the owner of this particular car: Those stickers are generally much funnier when they're on the bumper of an old beat-up piece of shit, not on the bumper of a BMW convertible.

Keep Your Hands Inside the Karma At All Times

I don't know sometimes. I pride myself on indifference. And then sometimes my lack of faith is shaken. Last night I was at something called the North Georgia State Fair (as was pointed out to me by the fabulous Celeste, Georgia is like infinityeth in the world in education, so maybe people there don't understand that "North Georgia" isn't actually a state). It was after 11 pm, we were leaving, and outside the gate was an elderly gentleman dressed very well except for some sort of baseball cap-type thing on his head, and he was handing out "Jesus literature". Somehow we ended up passing a little more closely to him than I had intended and he tried to Save me and I think I sort of shook my head and chuckled. Fine. End of story.

But then we're waiting in line for a shuttle to the parking lot, standing on a sidewalk adjacent to the area where this happened, and I notice him leaving his post, walking tiredly (is that a word?) over to an area where there was a tree with a short (a couple feet or so) concrete wall around it, and he sat down there, and granted I was at a distance of 50 feet or so and it was pretty dark where he was, but something about his figure, leaning over, his head in his hands, there was just an air of disconsolance (again, word?) about him, or rather the way I viewed him, and I think I actually felt something I've never quite felt before.

I think it's mostly my desire to transition to fiction writing more exclusively and that makes me see everyone I come across as a potential character or part of a character and about 15 minutes later (still waiting for the shuttle) I saw that he was back at his post handing out that Jesus stuff and so I guess he was just tired and needed a rest and he may have never even seen my initial reaction to him, so I convinced myself that my karma was no more damaged than it was before, but who knows? I had already survived the "Death Fall" as we renamed some ride called the "Mega-Drop" where you get lifted about a million feet in the air and then you just fall until about 2 feet above the ground where you stop, and maybe I should have been thankful enough for not dying that I should have taken his silly cloud-being booklet and smiled and thanked him and given him some happiness for a few seconds until the next refusal. What would it really have cost me anyway? I don't know sometimes. There are so many mes I don't quite understand and I'm so often indifferent to all of them.

For the Person Who Reeeeally Has Everything

Magna Carta to be auctioned

"Sotheby's will auction off one of the earliest versions of the Magna Carta later this year, the auction house announced Tuesday.

This will be the first time any version of the Magna Carta has ever gone up for auction, according to David Redden, vice chairman of Sotheby's.

The Magna Carta is expected to fetch at least $20 million to $30 million, Redden said.

...

The version to be auctioned is one of fewer than 20 known copies of the Magna Carta, which means "Great Charter" in Latin. The document was first devised in 1215, but not confirmed into English law until 1297 -- the year this version was issued and sealed by King Edward I."

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There are only 90 shopping days left until Christmas and I do have a little wall space free. Just in case anyone was wondering.

Germ-Free Writing??

I was running an errand today and on the counter there was something called an "antimicrobial pen." I mean, really, come on, people.

Reverse Stalking Is Cool ... and a Little Scary

so I'm checking who is visiting my blog and all because I'm naturally curious like that and it seems that someone with an IP address of 24.177.77.152 has been stalking the hell out of me the last two mornings, which seems odd because A) it says it's a Hickory, NC location and I don't know anyone there; B) my blog really isn't that interesting; and C) I don't update it that often so there's really not a reason to visit it 10 times an hour ... have I mentioned that people really kind of freak me out sometimes?

Nope. Soccer isn't a contact sport. Not at all.

nice action shot from last night's Shelby-Crest soccer game (Jeff Melton, Shelby Star):

Dumb Dora was so dumb...

"She's been in kindergarten so long she's the only girl in class with ______."

Match Game celebrity panelist Brett Somers dies at 83

"Hosted by Gene Rayburn, "Match Game" was the top game show during much of the 1970s. Contestants would try to match answers to nonsense questions with a panel of celebrities; much of the humor came from the racy quips and putdowns.

Shows from the 1973-79 run, featuring regulars like Somers, Richard Dawson and Charles Nelson Reilly, are still seen on cable TV's GSN (formerly Game Show Network).

Somers married actor Jack Klugman, the future star of the television shows "Quincy" and "The Odd Couple," in 1953. The two separated in 1974, but never divorced."

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Match Game may just be the most underrated show. Ever. Or maybe I just have a thing for low-budget 70's production and blatant innuendo. Either way.

Wow. You really can buy just about anything on the internet -- "Dumb Dora" paraphernalia